In his latest interview, Pete Wicks revealed his painful past, sharing a haunting experience: “When I opened the door, it was all blood inside…”

He is the reality star bad boy who hopes to waltz his way into the hearts of millions of Strictly Come Dancing fans this year.

But despite his tough exterior, Pete Wicks has overcome tragedy and trauma throughout his life.

Pete is dancing with Jowita Przystal on Strictly

The former The Only Way is Essex star has had a bad boy reputation since appearing on the show

In his new book, he opens up about the trauma he faced as a child, including a horrific experience with his mum
Now has revealed his traumatic childhood in a new book, Never Enough, released this week ahead of his first live dance on Saturday’s Strictly.

Pete, 35, is one of the biggest reality stars in the country after finding fame on ITV‘s The Only Way Is Essex.

Known as the show’s resident bad boy, fans were drawn in by his loyalty as a friend and his dry sense of humour.

Speaking to The Times about his time on the show, he said: “I didn’t really see a future in making a pr*** of myself on telly. I didn’t try. I was just being me.

“But it turns out that is something TV producers were looking for: they call it ‘authenticity’”.

He went on to appear on several TV shows, such as Celebs Go Dating and The Real Full Monty.

However, looking back at the Strictly star’s childhood reveals how he overcame multiple tragedies to become the star he is today.

Estranged dad

Born in Harlow, Essex, Pete describes himself as “blonde, fat, quite sociable, and happy.” As a child, he had an obsession with sticks and would even sleep with one in his bed.

But his happy childhood was almost shattered by the divorce of his parents when he was just 11.

After the split, he lost contact with his father, who moved to the Middle East.

Pete says he was “blonde, fat, quite sociable, and happy” as a child

He was a huge dog lover and is still passionate about them to this day
In his book, he says: “I still don’t currently have a relationship with my dad. I admire him more than any other man in the world, but unfortunately, we have fallen out.

“Hopefully, one day, we will fix that.”

During an episode of Celebs Go Dating, he said: “My dad is a good man. My mum and dad split up when I was younger – 11 or so – and I’ve barely seen him since.

“And I understand that things were difficult for him at the time but I wasn’t enough for him to stay, was I?”

“Him leaving didn’t just affect me. My mum was not in a great way for a good few years. And I didn’t really get a chance to process what I needed to process because I had to make sure she was alright.”

When asked about the impact it had on him, he replied: “It made me become the man I am and part of what I am, which I’m grateful for. But it’s not his fault. A lot of that is probably my fault as well.”

Pete said he felt “sadness and anger” when his father left and added: “It’s been something I’ve managed to keep under control for years and recently I found it a lot harder. I just felt sad for years.”

“Pure shock”

Pete has often spoken in interviews about how close he is to his mum Tracy

At the age of 12, he saved her life after a terrifying suicide attempt

Pete is among the celebrities set to dazzle in Strictly Come Dancing this year

Pete has often spoken about his love for his mother, Tracy, and grandmother Doreen.

In an interview, he said: “The two most important people in my life are my mum and my nan. We are like the three best friends anyone could have.”

His mother turned to booze after the split and Pete became a paper boy at 12 to help with their dire financial situation.

And while Tracy will be cheering on her son on Strictly this year, there was a time where Pete feared she wouldn’t be here.

Describing a traumatic incident where he saved her life in his book, Pete says: “I saw her sitting at the table, which had been covered in blood. I saw the blood dripping first.

“She was holding a knife in her other hand. Immediately, I ran over to her to take the knife from her hand. Before that, she had seemed almost possessed – it was like my mum had gone and someone (or something) else had taken over her body.

“But when I came over to her, it’s like she woke up. She looked up at me with eyes full of tears. ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,’ she kept repeating.

“I told her it was okay as I panicked trying to work out what to do. I called Nan. I could barely get the words out to describe what had happened. I think I basically just said, ‘Mum… knife… blood.’”

Pete’s grandmother tried to calm him down and told him to call 999. He continues: “I took her instructions, calling the ambulance, and then I got to work trying to look after Mum, who by that point was sitting on the floor and bleeding very badly.

“I grabbed towels to try to stop the bleeding. I poured the wine down the sink. It’s hard to pinpoint how I felt in that moment, because I think it was just pure shock. I didn’t cry – I just went into crisis mode.”

Sadly, Pete said he blamed himself for what happened and lived with the guilt.

It’s hard to pinpoint how I felt in that moment, because I think it was just pure shock. I didn’t cry – I just went into crisis mode
Pete Wicks

“I didn’t say it but I believed it was my fault”, he says. “I had been with Mum before it happened. I had agreed to go upstairs. I had stayed upstairs even though I could hear her wailing.

“If it was anyone’s fault, it was mine. Looking back, I know that my responsibility was probably overwhelming in that moment. I was the child and I needed to be looked after.

“Instead, I had to look after my parent and suppress all the fear, panic, loneliness and self-blame that was beginning to grow inside me.”

When Tracy made a recovery, he told him it was a “moment of madness” and promised him it would never happen again.

Nan’s death

Pete said his grandmother was his best friend and compared her to “the nan from Catherine Tate”

In an interview, he said she was the only one who told him the truth about himself
Pete spoke fondly about his grandmother in several interviews. In one, he compared her to “the nan from Catherine Tate”.

He said: “She is the only person that tells me the truth, non-stop. My mum loves me, whatever I do, despite the fact that I’m generally a bit of a w***er.

“But my nan will tell me when I’m a w***er. In fact, she quite often tells me I’m a w***er when she’s not calling me Steve. She’s got a habit of calling me Steve. I’m not entirely sure why.”

However, in June 2022, Pete’s life was rocked when Doreen passed away in her early eighties.

The devastated star said: “Nan, despite knowing this time would always come, it doesn’t make it any easier.

“It’s taken me days not knowing what to say because no words will ever be able to describe what you meant to me. My heart is broken and I have never felt so lost.

“I have been blessed to have you as my nan but more importantly to have you as my best friend.

“The strength, resilience, love, empathy and compassion you have shown throughout your life is a lesson to us all and without doubt the only good parts of me come from you.

“I hope you knew how much you were loved. Sleep well and be at peace, no one deserves it more. I love you.

Pete was left devastated and “lost” when his grandmother died in 2022
Talking to Celeb Go Dating’s Paul C Bruson and Anna Williamson in a November 2022 episode, Pete broke down as he spoke about his beloved grandmother.

When Anna asked of he had allowed himself time to grieve, he replied: “In my way. But it’s been tough. Yeah, it’s been tough.”

Pete has said his grandmother was the inspiration behind his new book. He said: “Nan dying three years ago is what triggered the book.

“Career-wise, I was on a high, but personally, I was going through intense grief. It changes everything.”

“Lonely life”

Pete was in a relationship with Megan McKenna, which played out on TOWIE

Their relationship was marred by rumours of infidelity, which earned Pete a playboy reputation
In recent years, Pete has been linked to some of the most glamorous women in showbiz.

Before TOWIE, Pete was in a relationship with Ex on the Beach star Harriet Harper. After he joined the show, he dated Jess Wright and Verity Chapman.

But his relationship with Megan McKenna, 31, took up most of his storylines on the show. Their relationship, which lasted for a year and a half, was marred by cheating rumours.

During that time, he developed a reputation as a love rat. He says his antics on the show still haunt him today.

“I’ve been villainised and loved in equal measure”, he told The Times. “I’m still getting death threats even now. Once you’re tarred with a certain brush it’s hard to shake that reputation but it’s part of the life of reality TV.”

He has since been with stars such as Megan Barton Hanson, Maura Higgins, and Chloe Sims. Although he has a reputation as a ladies man, Pete says he would like to settle down.

He has also been linked to Love Island star Maura Higgins, left
He also spoke ab out his fears of “dying alone“.

He said: “I’m nearly 36. I want to get married and have kids. I’ve been blessed with so many opportunities, but what’s the point if I can’t share them with anyone?

“Right now, I’m not ready to wholeheartedly commit to a romantic relationship because I don’t fully understand myself yet.

“I’ve failed in so many relationships because I feel women fall in love with the idea of me, not the reality. I would love to find a wife but you know what? I may end up one of those men who dies alone.”

In 2022, Pete moved Celebrity SAS viewers to tears when he spoke about his fears of vulnerability and opening up to people.

He said: “I don’t have a particularly good view of myself, if I’m honest with you. I don’t think I’ve been a particularly nice person sometimes and I don’t think I’ve dealt with things particularly well.

Career-wise, I was on a high, but personally, I was going through intense grief. It changes everything
Pete Wicks

“I spent most of my life surrounded by people and I spend most of my life out doing things but I’ve got quite a lonely life, I think, if I don’t sort that out then I will forever just be on my own.”

Sam Thompson bromance

Pete’s relationship with Sam Thompson has earned him the admiration of many fans
One of the most consistent relationships in his life has been his unlikely friendship with Made In Chelsea star Sam Thompson, 32. While Sam is known for his bubbly personality, Pete is often reserved and stoic.

The pair first met in 2018 while appearing on Celebs Go Dating together. After that, Sam paid a moving tribute to Pete on Instagram, saying he learned a lot from him.

They started working together professionally and hosted Reality News on E4. They also launched their podcast, Staying Relevant, which has been hugely successful.

Speaking about their friendship, Pete said: “He is family to me now. You learn so much even from people who are totally different from you.

“For example, I’m getting to grips with the silent, angry side of me, whereas Sam never f***ing stops talking about how he feels, without ever really understanding what the f*** he’s on about.”